Chaos goes to Hogwarts
by HELPtheEVILchimpsATEmySOCKS
Summary: two australian girls zap themseleves into the world of Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. They have come to have 'fun' MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, BUT I DO OWE RAE AND LIZ. 

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX 

"Remember your last, Petunia" came the voice from the howler 

*ZAP* 

*WHOOSH* 

*BANG* 

"OUCH" 

"THAT'S GONNA HURT IN THE MORNING." 

The Dursleys spun around and saw two girls standing in the room. 

"GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!" The girl with raven black hair. 

"Liz? Rae? What are you doing here?" Harry asked surprised. 

"Got bored. So we thought we'd come to say hi. So what's up with chubby over there. He looks like he's seen a ghost?" Liz asked pointing to Dudley. 

"Dementors, we were attacked by them." Harry said gravely. 

"That can't be good." Liz said frowning 

"So Harry, how's your summer been?" Rae asked grabbing an apple and biting into it. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!" Roared Vernon. 

"Right at the moment, I'm eating an apple." Rae said and Harry sniggered. 

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Vernon bellowed, his face going purple. 

"You know what, I don't think I will. In fact, I believe I'll stay here for the rest of the summer." Rae said taking another bite into the apple. 

"YOU BLOODY WELL AREN'T STAYING IN MY HOUSE, NOW GET OUT BEFORE I GIVE YOU A THRASHING." Vernon yelled his face now a mixture of red and purple which Liz found fascinating. 

"You know Mr Dursley, there are differences between wizards and mages. Liz and I are mages, mages are ALOT more powerful than ordinary wizards and witches. Liz and I can do magic with out a wand, and we can do magic whenever we want and not get in trouble for it. Now, I suggest you shut your trap before I turn your son into a pig. Got it?" Rae said with a fake smile. 

Harry was desperately trying not to laugh. 

"Let's go to your room. We have so much to talk about." Liz said excited and Harry led the two excited Australian girls up the stairs. 

"What kind of crap bedroom is this?" Rae said incredulously. 

"Tell me about it." Liz agreed. 

"Liz my friend, I believe-" 

-that it is time-" 

-for drastic-" 

-renovation" they said at the same time. 

Liz and Rae scurried around the room zapping everything and turning it into something alot better. 

"TIME FOR THE CLOTHES!" Liz yelled and they threw Harry's clothes on the bed. Soon Harry had alot of expensive, good looking clothes. After they'd finished they looked around the room in satisfaction. 

"I like. I think we did well. How about you Harry?" Rae asked the boy 

His mouth was hanging open. 

"Um, what? Yeah, it's great." He finally said. 

"Thanks." Liz said proudly. 

"Could one of you two do me another favour." Harry said hesitantly. 

"If it has anything to do with hexing the Dursleys, I'm way ahead of yah." Rae said with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. 

Harry grinned. 

"No, I was just going to ask if one of you two could go and see Ron and Hermione to find out what's happening. I've got no news from the wizarding world." Harry asked with puppy eyes. 

"Sure, no probs." Liz said with a smile. 

"Could you give em' a hex or something and tell them that I am HEAPS angry with them." Harry asked. 

"I'll go." Rae said before Liz could. 

*ZAP* 

*WHOOSH* 

*BANG* 

Rae found herself standing in a room with Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred and George talking. 

"CHIGGA WIGGA." Rae bellowed. 

All 5 of them jumped so much their feet left the ground. 

"Rae? What are you doing here? Did Dumbledore come and get you? Where is Liz? Did something happening?" Hermione started saying in a rush. 

*ZAP* 

Hermione's mouth was now shut together. 

"Sorry, but all your many questions were annoying me." Rae said with a shrug, "so, where am I?" 

The door burst open and Mrs Weasley, Mad-eye Moody, Remus, and Sirius came in with wands pointed in front of them. 

"Whoa, down boy" Rae said holding her hands up. 

"Rae? What are you doing here?" Asked Sirius. 

"Harry asked me to come and see what's going on." Rae replied 

*ZAP* 

Hermione's mouth was now free. 

"What? Is something wrong with him?" Asked Sirius worried. 

"Yup." Rae said with a nod. 

"What? What happened?" Hermione asked panicking. 

"He is suffering from very-pissed-off-with-everyoneitis. In other words, he is extremely pissed off with you all. So, what's going on?" Rae said looking at all of their faces. 

Everyone looked at each other anxiously. 

"We can't say." Ron said slowly. 

"All right, but when you next see Harry, be prepared to have your heads blown off. Oh, before I go, Harry asked me to do this." 

*ZAP* 

*ZAP* 

Ron now had bunny ears, bunny tail, bunny teeth, whiskers, bunny feet, and a bunny nose. 

Hermione's body was now bloated up like a balloon and had green hair. 

"Sorry, you shouldn't of pissed him off. Tootles." 

*ZAP* 

*WHOOSH* 

*BANG* 

Harry was furious when Rae told him that they didn't tell her anything and also that Sirius was with them. But he did laugh when he heard what he did to Ron and Hermione. 

The next few days Rae, Liz and Harry had a blast. But Harry was still angry with Ron, Hermione and Sirius. 

On the fourth night Rae, Liz and Harry were all having a huge pillow fight. 

The Dursleys had gone so it was just them. Suddenly they heard a crash. They went silent then heard voices. Liz and Rae knew who it was since they already read the Order of the Phoenix but Harry didn't. He got out his wand and put his finger to his lips to indicate for them to be quiet. 

They walked down the stairs silently and saw eight or nine figures in the dark. 

Liz turned on the light making everyone in the room spin around and face them. 

"Professor Lupin?" Harry asked surprised. 

"We're here to take you away Harry." Professor Lupin said smiling. 

"In that case, if we are leaving, Liz and I have work to do." Rae said and they past Harry. 

"We'll do the lounge room first." Liz said and Rae nodded. 

"What are you doing?" Asked Harry wearily. 

"Hexing the place, what do you think?" Rae said rolling her eyes. 

"Just think of it, as a goodbye present." Liz said grinning. 

Both girls ran off cackling madly, the others looked on worriedly. 

5 minutes later everyone was standing outside the house. 

"Liz, Rae, how are you guys going to follow us. You don't have brooms?" Harry pointed out. 

*ZAP* 

*ZAP* 

In front of Liz was a flying carpet. 

In front of Rae was a vacuum cleaner. 

"Heheh, it's a Hoover." She said grinning at them. 

They all rolled their eyes. 

"There's the signal." Lupin said and they all rose into the air 

************************************************************************* 

TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY *pops open a bottle of wine.* 

NOW, FOR A BIRTHDAY TREAT! YOU CAN REVIEW. 


	2. chapter2

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, BUT I DO OWE RAE AND LIZ. 

LIZ, RAE, HARRY ARRIVE AT THE HOUSE OF BLACK 

Everyone stood out the front of a dark house. Liz and Rae ran to the door and burst it open. 

"HONEY, I'M HOME!" Liz yelled. 

Everyone started shushing them but Liz and Rae ignored them and started looking around. 

"Harry, you go find Ron and Hermione, Rae and I are going house inspecting." Liz said and both girls ran off, ignoring the calls for them to come back. They were inspecting the attic when they heard a loud shrieking voice. 

_"Filth! Scum! By products of dirt and vileness! Half-breed, mutants, freaks, begone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my father-"_

"Let's check it out." Liz said excited and they both ran off towards where the screeching was coming from. 

They saw a painting of a freaky looking woman. 

"I don't like her Liz, she doesn't give justice to the décor, how about we change it?" Rae asked rubbing her chin. 

"Jolly good idea." 

*ZAP* 

The painting was now of a guy flashing a moony at everyone. 

"Good, but no. Let's try this one." 

*ZAP* 

The painting was now of Liz, Rae, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred and George all hexing Malfoy. 

"Yes, I do believe that would be ok. What do you guys think?" Rae asked turning to the others. 

"I love it." Sirius said stepping forward. 

"Excellent. Um, you wouldn't mind then if Liz and I go around the house changing everything and making the house a lot better than it is now?" Rae asked. 

Both Liz and Rae gave him puppy eyes with trembling lips. 

"Sure, go for it." Sirius said. 

"YAHOO, LET'S GO LIZZY!" Rae yelled and both girls ran off excited. 

"I'm not sure that was a good idea Sirius." Harry said shaking his head. 

**THE NEXT MORNING.**

Everyone walked around the house to inspect it. Instead of stairs it was a roller coaster, one room was a hippy kind of room, with bright flowers, bright colours and bean bags, another was more royal like, with expensive looking furniture, velvet curtains etc. They walked through all different kinds of rooms, the last one was Liz and Rae's favourite. It was there that the others found them floating around the room and it had padded walls. 

"Heheheh, we made this room have zero gravity. Come on and join us, it's heaps fun." Liz said grinning. Sirius didn't hesitate to jump in with them soon everyone was in the room floating around. 

"So Sirius, do you like our decorating skills?" Asked Liz floating upside down. 

"I do, but I don't think Kreacher does. He's most probably up at the attic skulking." Sirius said spinning around. 

"Oh, you mean that house elf?" Liz asked and Sirius nodded. 

"Well, um, he sorta kept on insulting and annoying us so we sort of changed him." Rae said sheepishly. 

"What do you mean by changed him?" Hermione said suspiciously. 

Both girls gulped. They knew how Hermione got when it came to house elves. 

They floated out of the room and came back holding a stuffed teddy bear wearing a superman cloak. 

"Um, everyone. This is the new Kreacher." Liz said holding up the teddy bear. 

"WHAT?" Hermione screeched and both girls ran for it. 

HARRY'S TRIAL 

As Liz and Rae walked through the ministry of magic they decided they'd be a little naughty and hex things when no-one was looking. When they got to Arthur's HQ they were disgusted. 

"Liz, I do believe it is time for us to do a little redecorating." Rae said wrinkling up her nose. 

"Indeed I do." Liz agreed. 

"These wizards and witches don't know how to decorate." 

5 minutes later the room was enlarged, the chairs were comfy spinny chairs, the desks were made alot nicer and they added windows since they didn't have any. When Mr Weasley came in his mouth dropped open and looked at Liz and Rae who were looking around whistling with their hands behind their back. 

A stooped, timid-looking wizard with fluffy white hair just entered the room panting and told them that Harry's trial had changed. It starts at 8 down in old courtroom ten. 

*ZAP* 

In the corridor was a racing care that could fit four people. 

"In you get everyone." Liz said and everyone jumped in. 

VROOM 

They managed to get to the courtroom just in time. 

"BOOM BANG BABY!" Yelled Liz kicking the door open. Everyone looked up at them shocked. 

"Hello all you funky spunky monkey's." Rae said running into the room. 

Harry shook his head blushing. 

"Who are you two? What are you doing here?" Demanded Fudge. 

"I'm Liz, this is Rae and we are here for moral support." Liz said and they sat down in a chair. 

*ZAP* 

In front of them was a desk which had a typewriter on it. Rae sat infront of the typewriter with a clear green tennis cap on with a cigarette in her mouth. 

"All right baby, let's get this show on the road." Liz said happily. 

"Very well,' said Fudge, 'the accused being present let us begin. Are you ready?" He called down the row. 

"Yes sir." Said an eager voice. It was Percy. 

"Disciplinary hearing of the twelfth of August," fudge said in a rising voice, both Rae and Percy taking notes, "into offences committed under the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery and the International Statue of Secrecy by Harry James Potter, resident at number four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. 

Interrogators: Cornelius Oswald Fudge Minister for Magic, Amelia Susan Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Lay Enforcement, Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister. Court Scribe, Percy Ignatius Weasley-" 

"BWA HAHAHAHAHAH!" Came a laugh. Everyone looked over and saw Liz and Rae laughing. 

"Ignatius? What kind of name is that? Ignatius." Liz snickered and Percy went bright red. Some of the Jury members also snickered. 

"Witness for the defence, Albus Percival Wulfic Brian Dumbledore," came Dumbledores voice, In the background Liz and Rae began laughing even harder. 

By the time the trial had ended Liz and Rae had finished laughing and were wiping away their tears. 

CONFRONTATION WITH LUCIUS MALFOY 

Liz, Rae, Harry and Mr Weasley had just reached the ninth-level corridor and Fudge was standing a few feet away from them, talking to a tall man with sleek hair and a pointed, pale face. 

The second man turned at the sound of their footsteps. He, too, broke off in mid-conversation, his cold grey eyes narrowed and fixed upon Harry's face. 

"Well, well, well...Patronus Potter," said Lucius Malfoy coolly. 

"Well, well, well...Loony Lucius." Liz shot back. 

"Blondie." Rae said with a smirk. 

Malfoy glared at her but turned his attention back Harry. 

"The Minister was just telling me about your lucky escape, Potter," drawled Mr Malfoy 'quite astonishing, the way you continue to wriggle out of very tight holes....._snakelike, _in fact." 

"Yeah," said Harry, "yeah, I'm good at escaping." 

"Blondie, blondie, blondie, blondie." Rae started chanting, Liz smiled and started her own chant. 

"Fudge, fudge, fudge, fudge, fudge, fudge, fudge." 

Rae and Liz followed Lucius and Fudge the whole way to Fudge's office chanting and successfully pissing them off. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


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